Ride Me
by Naomi R
Summary: When Sasuke picks up a complete stranger off the side of the road...what happens...complete chaos


**Disclaimer **I do not own Naruto…the restraining order was sent out last week.

**Naomi **Ok Sasuke...You must know in order for me to complete this fanfic...You'll be followed and watched…

**Sasuke** I am not going agreeing to this...

**Naomi** Did I ask you?

**Sasuke** Hn

"Dialog"  
_**Sasuke POV**_  
Just Narrating

**Ride Me**

This day will not get any better...first my stalker ex-girlfriend Sakura spray painted cheater on my car because I simply fucked her boyfriend…Including my anti-social bastard of a brother received ownership of _**our **_families company (which I know I am perfectly qualified for). Now I am standing at the edge of a highway with fucking rain pouring down on my luscious hair that I spent two god-damn strenuous hours perfecting. Along with that, my car is completely totaled because I decided not to get it serviced…_**AND!**_ I have to hitch a fucking ride…probably with a horny loser who enjoys fetish and erotic novels.

Hello…My Name is Uchiha Sasuke and this is my lame excuse for a life.

Right now I am wondering up and down the littered streets feeling like a cheap whore looking for a fun time, trying my best to ignore the loud whistles and the constant beeping of car horns from every last damn ass hole who found my not-so-funny situation...very-much-so amusing. So with the remainder amount of my dignity I have left...I stick up my thumb to at least arouse anyone's attention that "hey_ I need a ride_"…but these selfish bastards just keep driving right pass me…not understanding how painfully humiliating this situation already is.

So I just gave up and headed back to my car…Only too notice two headlights shining brightly before me. Not paying any attention to the voices in my head saying "Hey move out of the fucking way you out-of this-world-sexy-man-beast! You're going to get ran over by this damn car if you don't!" I ignore my livid conscience and decided to dismiss the warning...nobody tells me want to do, not even my own sexy self.

The car came to an abrupt halt as the door almost delicately (if you believe that the earthquakes in California were any delicate at all) swung open revealing this out of the world smoking hot guy. He had blonde hair that framed his flawless features and eyes that were as breath-takingly blue as the hope diamond. Yeah...he was cute...and yeah you he could even be mistaken as a chick if you were to undress him and (dirty thoughts) pull down those very tight and wet pants (drool) and replace them with a skirt...a very very short skirt...or maybe no skirt at all. Hmmm...That would be excellent! Overall the only I could think at this point was...

_**DAMN!**_

Weirdo's are not supposed to be sexy...that was like saying girls where interesting. But my brother was a weirdo...Sooo, this was an exception.

"Eh you... Do you need a ride?" The blonde cheerfully states  
_**Yeah…as long you allow me to ride you…**_

"Yeah...My car broke down...So...You know..."  
"Yeah…that sucks"

_**Exactly**_

"Do you know where the Konoha apartment complexes are?"  
"Yeah…I live in one of those…room 57...fourth floor"

"…room 63...fourth floor"

The blonde gasped...As if he just heard the most interesting thing ever. "I can't believe we never met!" He exclaims.

_**I can't believe we never done a few things either…**_

I was forgetting something…oh yeah...his name.

"What is your name?"

"Naruto…Naruto Uzumaki...What's yours?"

"Uchiha…Uchiha Sasuke" I said in my best James bond impersonation. Knowing that would win him over if nothing else does.

"Well…nice to meet you Sasuke!"

**FAIL!**

"Same for you"

The car ride was…different. It wasn't the fact that the car itself was littered with instant ramen cups or the fact that he had an abnormal stash of energy shakes, that would probably even make Rock Lee look less...youthful. The only thing that was so unusual about this car ride was the fact that this blonde kept talking ...**ALOT**. He could find the most awkwardist and randomist (yeah I can make up words) things to talk about...that would range from dolphins to ninjas...sometimes even surprisingly politics! He could even talk about the most worthless crap that I surprisingly didn't even know existed and some...I could care less for.

He just seemed so...dobe-ish.

But that wasn't even close to the problem that I was trying to deal with at this very moment…I had this urge...Such an undeniable and completely natural urge to do something that would get me locked up for a good amount of time. If he would just stop pouting at me so damn...cutely. This man who went by the name of Naruto...does not either know or completely understand what I am capitable of doing at this very moment.

I hope he stops before I do the expected and ravish the innocent civilian who so kindly offered me a ride.  
Well an Uchiha gets...want an Uchiha wants...unless your-an-Uchiha-trying-to-get-something-from-another-Uchiha...and that would either be illegal...and a whole other story and a whole other universe  
"Hey…Sasuke do you want to sleep over at my house sometime?"

_**Is this guy begging to get raped?**_

"That sounds cool…only if I get to treat you to some ramen..."

"Sasuke…Did you just ask me out for a date?" he somehow seductively says. Unless this guy is teasing me and if so...It's working...very well.

_**Yes**_

"No..."

"Just joking..." he chuckles "Any who... How do you know I like ramen?"

**Who wouldn't know about your weird fetish with ramen …your car is basically decorated with them... **_**dobe.**_

"Hn...Just a simple minded guess"

"Oh"

"Eh…Sasuke" He questions me…again

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

**Yeah…that bitch that slept around with all of my co-workers…and decided that it was wrong of me to cheat on her.**

"No…not really …but I have an Ex."

"Oh…me too"

"What Happened?"

_**Wait! Why do I even care? The things people do to get laid…can make you do the most dob-ish and the dumbest things known to mankind. **_

"Her name was Hinata…and god... was she gorgeous! The relationship was strong and every day I spent with her was surprisingly exciting ..."

"So" I questioned…acting as if I actually cared "what happened?"

"She figured out that I was gay..."

There was an awkward silence…a little too awkward and silent for me to even handle…I really wanted to console him in a way that will leave him handicapped for weeks. But decided that the expensive hospital bills and therapy that would come along with it ...wasn't even worth it.

"But her cousin Neiji…was interested in me..."

**Neiji…that name sounds awfully familiar...**

"I knew someone by the name of Neiji…we did a few things..." I conveyed.

"How was he?" Naruto asked completely ignoring the last part of the entire sentence.  
"Well…we didn't talk much…"

_**He was too busy screaming my name…**_

"But why did you decline" Why would anyone decline Neiji…he was like sooo...hot! "

**Now that was a first...**

The car came to a sudden halt and Naruto turned off the engine…we were so deep in our conversation…that I completely forgotten the reason toward why I even stepped one foot in this car...

"He would try to molest me on a daily basis"

**Now…tell me what was so surprising about that statement?**  
__

_**Who wouldn't?**_

* * *

**Author Note:** Please Review!


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